“Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.”
Thursday, July 28, 2011
A healed heart is better than one that has never been broken
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Rant
Yknow what sucks? I live a life of indulgence, luxury and little to no hardwork required for those two. And it sickens me that I get all these privelleges without having to feel like I shouldn't take these for granted. Who the fuck gives away a laptop just because someone wants one!? No one. Fucking. No one. Take for example. I have a friend whom has to constantly deal with her bipolar disorder and crazy moodswings and depression... It's like her being able to survive each day is a gift by itself, and I didn't know this shit until I started caring about her. People like that need to be congratulated and then some. THEY FUCKING SURVIVED A DAY GOING THROUGH SHIT NORMAL PEOPLE WOULD RATHER NOT HAVE TO SUFFER. It doesn't fucking help either that her moms a drunk. She went to a mental hospital, she got molested by drunk guys, her friends are backstabbing bitches. And she lives through all of it. Like a fucking superhero. I just wish I could give her my life for a change, and LET ME GO THROUGH ALL THAT so that she could live a happy life, coz so far i'm not doing anything worth while. I'm just enjoying life like it's been taken for granted. What the fuck right? I just wish that somehow, some way, her life would just all turn around, and she'd be able to find happiness out of all this mess. I would do everything in my power to help make that happen, even if it means having to sacrifice part of myself. She deserves it. and out of all that, shes turned out to mostly be something that all guys would say perfect. She's beautiful, she's kind, caring, funny, and don't get me started on her charms. sigh...
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Anti drug week play
Professor 1: As part of a study to investigate the effects of narcotic and hallucinogenic substances on
people, me and my other 2 colleagues have agreed to choose 2 random and unwilling volunteers in our drug experimentation.
Professor 2: Do take note that this play is being performed by skilled actors and should not be attempted at home. Any injuries or fatalities caused when trying this at home will not be liable to us. Also you will be labelled as the idiot who tried to copy something and failed.
Professor 1: Now our 2 guards will randomly pick 2 people from the crowd for our experiment.
*Guard 1 and 2 picks 2 people*
Guy 1: -makes a hustle- HEY WHAT ARE YOU DOING, GET OFF ME! I DON'T WANNA DO THIS!
Guy 2: -confused- Huh? what's going on? Where are you taking me!?
Professor 1: Welcome volunteers-
Guy 1: I didn't volunteer for this!
Professor 2: You are either chosen, or have been chosen to be lab rats for our experiment today.
Guy 2: I like rats.
Guy 1: ...
Guy 2: Wait, actually I like mice more, DO I GET TO BE A WHITE MOUSE!?
Guy 1: ...
Professor(s): .....
Professor 1: LET THE TEST BEGIN!~
Guy 1: TEST!? WHAT TEST!? WAIT I HAVEN'T STUDIED!
Professor 2: For the first drug we shall test, we will choose Lysergic Acid Diethylamide, LSD, or more commonly known by its drug users as 'acid'.
Guy 2: I don't think injecting us with acid will make us feel happy.
*Professor 3 takes out syringe and stabs the 2 volunteers*
Guy 1: OUCH! THAT HURTS!
Guy 2: hehehehehehehehehehheheh.
Guy 1: What's wrong with you?
Guy 2: heheheheheheheheheeheheheheheh
Guy 1: OH GOD, YOU'RE TRANSFORMING!
Guy 2: AAAAHHH IM TRANSFORMING!
Guy 1: OH MY GOD DUDE! YOUR HAND IS A PIANO!!!
Guy 2: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
Guy 1: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
Guy 2: AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!
Guy 1: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!
Professor 1: The subject seems to be hallucinating that subject 2's hand turned into a piano.
Professor 2: I can see that.
Professor 1: You can see his hand turning into a piano too? And I thought you were clean...
Professor 2: I am clean..well.until now...
Professor 1: Wait..YOU ACTUALLY TOOK THAT DRUG?
Professor 2: Is it obvious? Oh..your head's turning into a popsicle...
Professor 1: Nevermind that, let's get on with the experiment shall we?
Professor 2: You look delicious...
Professor 1: *Hits Professor 2 on the head*
Professor 2: Ok now you're melting...
Professor 1: Okay... on to drug number 2, Tetrahydrocannibanol, otherwise known as cannabis
Professor 2: Professor, please give them some cannon bliss
*Professor 3 applies cannabis to the dudes*
Guy 1: Heheh...
Guy 2: Heheheheh...
Professor 1: Nothings happening.
Professor 2: Hehehehehehehe...
Professor 1: *Facepalm* Oh my gonadotrophic hormones...you took this drug too?
Professor 2: I..hehehe..thought..hehe..it..hehe..was... coke... *burps*
Guy 1: Heheheh... hey I gotta joke for you
Guy 2: Yeah?
Guy 1: What did sushi A say to sushi B?
Guy 2: What?
Guy 1: WASSABI!!!!!!!
*Guy 1 and 2 roll on floor laughing their asses off out loud (ROFLTAOOL)*
Professor 1: *Mumbles* Note to self...fire Professor 2..
Professor 2: I heard that!
Professor 1: I wasnt under the impression you can hear with all that giggling you were doing..
Professor 2: Im not laughing anymore..wait....IM NOT LAUGHING ANYMORE! *(which is cool)
Professor 1: Alright then... Test subjects, are you good enough to go?
Guy 1: I feel very depressed now... :(
Guy 2: Yeah me too... im so emo...
Professor 3: PROFESSOR! THE TEST SUBJECTS GOT DEPRESSED AFTER THE DRUG EFFECTS HAVE SUBSIDED
Professor 2: I know... YOU EMOTIONLESS BASKET!!!
Professor 1: He's depressed too? JUST GREAT
Professor 3: I guess...these are the aftereffects of the drugs..
Professor 1: Yes...while consuming them will give you the feeling of ecstatic happiness.after that it will mess up your mood and make you really depress like girls during their period month..
Professor 2: I hate you guys.
Professor 1: moving on, shall we now test the effects of psylocibin mushrooms?
*Professor 3 administers shrooms on the dudes*
Guy 1: Dude, i heard you like mudkips.
Guy 2: What?
*The test subjects suddenly fly around randomly*
Professor 1: what in dinosawrs name are they doing?
Professor 2: I think they're flying
Professor 1: How do you know?
Professor 2: Wait why am I flying?
Professor 1: *facepalms*
Professor 3: So... can i fly too?
Professor 1: NO!
Professor 3:*SAD FACE*
Guy 1: OH GOD UNICORNS!
Guy 2: PHOENIXES!
Professor 2: Algebraaaaaaaa!!!
Professor 1: I guess I don't have to ask if you''ve taken this drug or not...*sighes*
Professor 2: Huh? Oh, moving on!
Professor 3: So should we test out ecstacy now?
Professor 1: No, I think we should check out marijuana first.
Professor 3: I SAID I WANT ECSTACY!!!
Professor 1: OKAY OKAY! ECSTACY IT IS!
*Professor 3 administers ecstacy*
Professor 1: ... Did you just inject some on yourself too?
Guy 1: I LOVE YOU GUYS!!!
Guy 2: NO I LOVE YOU MORE!!!
Professor 1: Guy 2, we didnt give you the drug.
Guy 2: I know, i just love you guys.
Professor 3: I LOVE 3.14
Professor 2: I LOVE SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS
Professor 1: *facepalm* says here after using ecstacy, the user will not remember what he/she has done during the period of intake
Guy 1: Wait what did he say?
Guy 2: He said you will have amnesia
Guy 1: Who has amnesia?
Guy 2: You do.
Guy 1: I have what?
Guy 2: Amnesia.
Guy 1: whats amnesia?
Guy 2: the thing where you lose your memory
Guy 1: what loses its memory?
Guy 2: amnesia.
Guy 1: you have amnesia?
Guy 2: no you do
Guy 1: I have what?
Guy 2: Amnesia.
Professor 1: ... OKAY POINT TAKEN
Professor 2: What point?
Professor 1: The point that ecstacy gives you amnesia
Professor 2: What's amnesia?
Professor 1: *facepalms and looks up to the ceiling with arms raised* Forgive him Father..for he has sinned..
Professor 2: Who sinned?
Professor 1: You
Professor 2: Me what?
Professor 1: nevermind... off to the next drug, caffeine! ADMINISTER THE DRUG!
Professor 3: Roger that!
Professor 1: Save it Professor 3..this isnt Counter Strike..
* GO GO GO*
Professor 1: I said stop it, we're not in counter strike
Professor 2: He didnt say anything.
Professor 1: Then who said that...
*door busts open and cops flood in*
*epic scene ensues*
Cop: Professors, you are under arrest for the illegal drug trafficking of drugs, and the forced application of drugs onto innocent civilians. You shall be given the death penalty for your horrible crimes.
Professor 1: NOOOOOO!!!!
*scene shows cops arrest professors and sent to jail*
THE END
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Nothing to see
I am a guy.
I actually like school, except on thursdays.
I wear baggy shirts coz they keep me cool.
I currently am single, but not really looking for anyone.
I am posting stuff about me here coz i know no one will read it.
I have a gaming addiction that's pretty hard to shake off.
I have a tendency to fall in love a bajillion times each year, and I hate it.
I can't run fast, so i'll be the first one to die if a zombie outbreak happens.
Yes, I really do wish the world would end that way, at least I get to have fun killing em.
I imagine ALOT, but my skills in art can be compared to a 10 year old.
My daydreams never lead to anything good.
I often get called stupid or retarded, and I don't mind it at all.
I hate eating cheese by itself, but I love eating food that has cheese on it.
A lot of times, I would randomly get up and do something stupid/random/crazy.
I like to shake my leg when im on my laptop.
Most of the people I talk to on msn are little girls... and no i'm not a pedophile. It's just sad though.
I used to be smart, until gaming ruined my intelligence. I still regret it.
I haven't done a single thing that remotely suggests that i'm paving a secure future.
I hate myself sometimes, and wish I was never born, and I rarely reveal this to people.
Therefore, people think I don't have a single care in the world, and that hurts sometimes.
Being raised in a broken family, it gets a bit hectic, leading my life to ruins.
I hate my dad, but at times, when he's kind and sporting, I change my mind.
They say i'm a rebel, but really, i'm a pussy.
I suck at arguments. I usually give up instantly, but never submit to their way of thinking.
I think gays are retarded.
I'm sorry, but arguing with me won't change my mind about them.
My ego is huge.
All my life i've been masking my sorrows and emotions, and people tend to look up to me for that, but I look up to them coz they get express their emotions freely.
The only emotions I ever express freely is happiness.
At times, I will also disguise my sorrow with happiness, and so far, no ones noticed yet.
I made a promise to myself last year that I will never fall in love again.
Apparently I broke that promise.
Now my hearts writhing in pain.
Looking back, I can see how pathetic I am, and how I always look up to God for guidance, but never really truly believing in him as his follower.
I know i'm going to hell.
Most people wouldn't wanna go travel back in time to fix their past, coz they claim what's done is done, but I would do anything to change mine.
My childhood was filled with misery and loneliness.
Yet, I wish I had the freedom of being a 7 year old kid.
Of course I have real friends, but I care about them enough to make sure they don't know my real thoughts.
I always talk about this kind of stuff at 1 am.
This is a really depressing post, and I know no one's gonna read it.
But, I just wanted to express my feelings.
And still hide my emotions from the world.
I wish I could actually put a real smiley face here.
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Hopefully no one reads this
The mind game she's playing on me is pure torture... I can't take it anymore. I NEED TO TELL HER. AAAARRGGHHH
Monday, March 15, 2010
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
school sucks
wanna know what i would do whenever its add maths period?
step 1: open up book
step 2: cover my whole head
step 3: sleep
step 4: wake up when class ends
i hate school
but biologies kinda cool
hey that rhymed!
ciao!
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
this is why i stone alot in class
Welcome everyone to another edition of, "whats going on in zaims mind"
situation 1: walking back home from school
"i wonder if theres a car with a friend in it passing by"
"oh theres one!"
sup!
"oh its that asshole -.-"
situation 2: following mom to grocery shopping in tesco
"oh great another trolley with a f***ed up wheel, just my luck"
"a turns coming, drift drift!"
BAM!
"oh shit, walk away... walk away... whistle like you know how to whistle..."
situation 3: brushing my teeth
"hmm, out of toothpaste, or maybe not... ill see if i can squeeze some out or stick my toothbrush in it"
"left, right, left, right, left, right"
"up, down, up, down, up, down"
*gargle gargle*
*choke*
"EUGH"
"eww i just drank toothpaste water, cool"
situation 4: inside an elevator
"MUST... RESIST... URGE... TO... PRESS.... ALL... BUTTONS..."
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
This day sucks
Ever felt like you werent good enough for someone and you just wanna kill yourself?
well im not feeling that ><