Stupid, but I like it

My friend called me to get my phone number.
She spent 20 minutes staring at a juice box because it said 'concentrated'
She put lipstick on her forehead because she needed to make up her mind.
She tried to arrange the M&M sweets in alphabetical order.
She sent me a fax with a stamp on it.
She tried to drown a fish.
She thought a quarterback was a refund.
She almost died of starvation when she was locked up in a grocery store.
She tripped over a cordless phone.
She took a a ruler to sleep to see how long she slept.
She wanted a price check at The Dollar Store.
She studied for a blood test.
She thought meow mix was a CD for cats.
When she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the house, she moved.
She missed the 44 bus, so she took the 22 bus twice.
And lastly, when she was sending me to the airport, she saw a sign saying 'airport left' and went back home.