This commercial has been brought to you by oxyMORONS!

Do you feel weak?
Are you experiencing loss of appetite?
Do you lose interest at things you have always wanted to do?
Do you feel like you want to hug a pig and throw your dog out of the house?
Are you the one who always shouts dolphins when the atmosphere is gloom?
Do you like mayonaisse?

If you suffer 1 or more of these symptoms, its probably because you are RANDOM!
RANDOM is a symptom known to cause violence, stress, flatulence, burping, breathing, running, jumping, jogging, swimming, more swimming, seeing things in the color pink, thinking the moon is made of Feta cheese, and more swimming.

Luckily, scientists at SHIT (South Harmon Institute of Technology) have invented a new drug that can cure this growing disease. Yes! happy pill! happy pill is made from 25% cocaine, 50% marijuana, 25% ecstacy and 1% possum juice! This drug has been tested on pigs, raccoons, and also bats. But dont take our word for it, look at these happy customers!

Customer 1: Before I took happy pill, my life was full of sorrow. Each day I lived I felt like I wanted to commit suicide. Now that I'm taking happy pills, I now own my own garbage dumping area! Thank you SHIT!

Customer 2: All my life I dreamed of marrying with the girl I always dreamed of. Everyday I intentionally bump into her (literally) just so I can smell her sweet alpine scent. Now that I've taken Happy pill, I can dream of her all day long and feel that its real! Heck I even feel like shes real! Thank you SHIT!

Customer 3: (we are sorry, due to an unfortunate incident involving an overdose of an unknown drug, he has passed away. We mourn the death of customer 3.)

So what are you waiting for!? An invitation? Get happy pill today, and feel the happy effects now! Call 016-22-134-19 now and get 15% off your first happy pill bottle! Now sold in crates.

*warning, overdose of said drug may cause too much happiness. Wait, isnt that good? Bah who cares about you customers! You're money is gonna make me rich! RICH I TELL YOU! RICH!!!*